Dads, Glory in Being a Shadow

I am a basketball coach.

Every Monday evening, the Pumas get together on Court 1 and we go through dribbling drills, shooting practice, and defensive positioning. And these first graders seem like they’re coming along just fine.

For my part, coaching first grade basketball is a bit ironic, since I didn’t play basketball growing up. Nor do I watch a ton of basketball on TV. Nor am I very good at dribbling with my left hand. In fact, my entire coaching experience comes from watching youtube videos and Hoosiers.

So why am I a first grade basketball coach? Because my son asked me to do it. And when he asked me to do it, it never entered his mind that maybe Daddy wouldn’t be a very good coach since he doesn’t know what he’s doing.

That’s one of the great parts about being a dad – it’s that your kids assume you know how to do pretty much everything. They assume you know how to put together a bike, coach basketball, fix the toilet, solve every math problem, or build a treehouse. I am fortunate enough (I think) that my kids haven’t yet grown out of seeing me in that light – and it’s really nice to be someone’s hero and provider. But it won’t last forever.

Soon they will discover the truth – that I’m not Superdad, and like most every other dad out there, I’m just fumbling my way along here with much fear and trepidation (and prayer). Soon they’ll find out I don’t have all the answers, don’t always respond in the right way, and can’t help them with every project. Soon they’ll know that I am a sinner too, just like they are, and struggle with the same anger, disappointment, laziness, and everything else inside them.

Soon they’ll know what I know, and the jig will be up.

For my part, there is a temptation that comes with that discovery – it will be for me to act like I’m more than I actually am. It will be for me to scarcely, if ever, apologize when I’m wrong, and to fight tooth and nail to never acknowledge that I actually am. But if I choose this road, the road of upholding a less than realistic image of myself, I will actually be forfeiting one of the primary reasons I believe God has given me these children.

He has given me these children not only to protect them, provide for them, and teach them – He has given me these children for me to be a shadow of their greater Father. I am, as their father, a visible portrait of an invisible reality. In other words, both when I do the right thing and when I come up short as a dad, I am but a shadow of who God is. By God’s grace, I pray that they might say over and over again when they encounter God is something like this: “It’s like daddy, but better.”

  • God loves me like daddy does… only better.
  • God provides for me like daddy does… only better.
  • God disciplines me like daddy does… only better.
  • God takes care of me like daddy does… only better.

This is a better way, dads. It’s not the way of unattainable perfection or of image preservation; it’s instead the way of reminding our children that we are but a shadow of the greater Father to them.

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