The Best Thing to Tell Yourself When You’re Asking, “Why?”

“Why?” is an old, old question. Surely as long as there have been children, there has been the question. It’s repeated a thousand times a day by curious kids who wonder about the color of the sky, why we have to use money to buy things, or why the flowers disappear at a certain time of the year. And even though we get some of those questions answered when we are young, the question doesn’t go away. It just changes. Deepens.

As we grow, we ask “Why?” less and less about the things we observe in our environment, and more and more about the circumstances we experience. Especially when those experiences are painful:

  • Why would she do that to me?
  • Why did he have to get sick?
  • Why did he leave?

Same question but different object. And as the object changes, the complexity of the answer increases. That doesn’t mean that the answer to, “Why is the sky blue?” is not complex; it means that it’s straightforward. That there is an answer, even if we can’t really put it together cognitively. But when we ask “why” about these personal matters that have plunged us into despair and despondency, it is less so. There isn’t as much of a straight line as there is in matters of scientific inquiry. The answers are harder to come by.

So what do you tell yourself as a Christian during moments like these? Because they are coming, if they’re not already here. What do you say to your soul when everything within you is crying out for some kind of explanation?

Perhaps the best answer to this question is another question. Maybe the best answer to “Why?” is this:

What has been revealed?

Here’s the logic behind that second question: We don’t know everything, but we do know some things. And the “some things” that we know do not change regardless of the circumstances we find ourselves in. We know, for example that God is working all things together for the good of those who love Him, and for His glory (Rom. 8:28).

We know that the testing of our faith produces perseverance and perseverance is a key component to our spiritual maturity so that we don’t lack anything (James 1:3-4).

We know that there is a progression that comes with difficulty and suffering: suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope (Rom. 5:3-4). 

We know that what men intend for evil, God works for good (Gen. 50:20).

And we know that the measure of God’s love for us is not our circumstances, but that He has already proven His love for us in the death of Jesus on our behalf (Rom. 5:8).

These are all things we know, because these are things that have been revealed. And when you don’t know what you don’t know, you can return and rest and move forward in what you do.

So today, friend, as that old, old question bubbles up in your mind and heart, answer it with another one. Implicit in that answer is your acknowledgment that there are some parts of “Why?” that you will never know, and yet your heart can be calmed with the things you do:

My heart is not proud, Lord,
    my eyes are not haughty;
I do not concern myself with great matters
    or things too wonderful for me.
But I have calmed and quieted myself,
    I am like a weaned child with its mother;
    like a weaned child I am content (Psalm 131:1-2).

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