There are those circumstances in life about which the Bible only speaks in generalities. If you’re looking for the Bible to tell you specifically about whether you should move to St. Louis or Seattle, then you won’t find the answer. You will, though, find principles about the way your work and home should reflect the values of the kingdom that lay the general groundwork for that specific choice.

There are many life issues and decisions that fall into that category – whereby you learn and discern principles and then ask the Holy Spirit for wisdom in applying those principles to real life circumstances. It’s refreshing, then, when you come to a life issue about which the Bible is explicit. Such is the case with the real life experience of grief.

On this issue, it’s true the Bible is not prescriptive. It does not hand down a particular formula for how many tears must be shed and for how long. God’s Word does, however, speak very explicitly into our experience of grief as Christians. And what a gift that it does, for whenever we experience the loss of a loved one, there is confusion. There are confusing details about what happens next, but there is also emotional confusion about how to feel, how to cope with that loss, and then how to move forward in faith.

One of the places in Scripture that embraces grief and then speaks clarity into it comes from Paul’s first letter to the Thessalonians:

“We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, concerning those who are asleep, so that you will not grieve like the rest, who have no hope. Since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, in the same way God will bring with Him those who have fallen asleep through Jesus. For we say this to you by a revelation from the Lord: We who are still alive at the Lord’s coming will certainly have no advantage over those who have fallen asleep. For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a shout, with the archangel’s voice, and with the trumpet of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. Then we who are still alive will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air and so we will always be with the Lord. Therefore encourage one another with these words” (1 Thess. 4:13-18).

Notice from the beginning that Paul addresses the confusing nature of grief. But he did not want these believers to live with the potential ambiguity that comes with loss; rather, he wanted them to continue on in an informed kind of faith about death and the corresponding Christian grief that comes along with it. To bring that kind of clarity, there are at least four observations about Christian grief in this passage:

1. Grief is not wrong.

Paul could, I suppose, have exhorted these believers that in light of the reality of heaven, that grief itself is wrong. “Do not grieve” he might have said. But he didn’t. Rather, Paul knows there will be grief, and grieving is not wrong. After all, the Lord Himself wept at the tomb of His friend Lazarus (Jn. 11:35-38).

It is comforting to know that the Christian does not need to repent of his or her tears; the Christian has no need to apologize for their feelings of loss. The Christian, whose bonds with others in Christ should be the strongest of all, should grieve even more deeply at the loss of someone else. But that leads to the second observation…

2. Grief is transformed.

Grief is not wrong, but Christian grief is uniquely different from “those who have no hope.” Christian grief is a transformed kind of grief. There are a couple of ways, I believe, that Christian grief is indeed unique. It’s unique in that we understand that the true source of grief is not random events or diseases, but the condition of sin in which we and the rest of the world are in because of our rebellion.

But it’s also transformed because we know death is not the end. The gospel has made a fool of death, in that the thing which is the result of our sin has become the doorway to life everlasting with Jesus.

3. Grief is not forever.

Paul continues with a third observation, reminding us that grief is not forever. It is a temporary state of affairs that, along with everything else, will eventually be put right when Jesus comes back. The how’s and when’s of that return are still in question, but the reality of the event itself is not. Jesus will return. And when He does, death and grief will become a distant memory.

This is where we find perhaps the most beautiful promise of this passage: “We will always be with the Lord.” Always. And with the Lord there is indeed no more crying or pain.

4. Grief is shared.

Paul concludes this teaching with a final observation about grief. For the Christian, grief is shared.

These observations about grief are not meant to be kept between us and our own souls; rather, we are to “encourage one another with these words.” That’s not to say private grief is wrong; surely there is a time for grieving alone. It is, however, to say that if we never share our grief with others, we are being disobedient to the commands of Scripture and, in a way, are being selfish with our pain.

These are truths that are meant to be stated and then restated and then restated again. Because we are forgetful in our grief, we should bear the burden on behalf of each other in remembering these principles. And when we do, our tears of grief will not be like those who have no hope, but instead transformed, temporary, and communal.