This past week, I took Joshua (7) and Andi (4) to Greer Stadium, home of the Nashville Sounds, our minor league baseball team. It’s been a while since we’ve tried to do an outing to a sporting event, so I was a bit off my game in terms of expectations. However, I was able to glean some valuable lessons that will greatly enhance our next trip to the ballpark.

Presented for your reading pleasure, here are a few things I learned in the arena of children and sports:

1. If you consider how much the evening is costing you, it will ruin your experience.

2. Mascots are enthralling to 7 year olds. They are equally terrifying to 4 year olds.

3. If a cup of liquid is sitting anywhere near you, it will inevitably be spilled. It’s not a question of if… only a question of when.

4. The smartest thing promoters at games ever did was provide between inning entertainment.

5. Children have approximately the same ability to remain in a baseball game as professional pitchers. If you make it through 5 innings, you’re doing okay. Through 7, it’s a huge win for the team. If you go the complete game, you’ve got something special on your hands.