It’s the holiday season, and during that season there are always a wealth of parties and celebrations that most of us attend. Don’t get me wrong – I love Christmas. But, as an introvert, the stream of socialness can be an exhausting and frustrating time. So here’s a helpful question to help all you introverts out there survive the onslaught that’s coming:
“Am I the ‘guest’ or the ‘host’?”
If you’re an introvert, it’s likely that most of the time you gravitate toward, in any given situation, being the guest. It’s nice to be the guest; you don’t have a lot of responsibilities to take charge, give direction, or even interact with others. You can simply blend into the noise of a given situation, quietly observing the events before you without ever really engaging in them. That’s okay, so long as you’re really the guest.
But ask yourself before any of those situations whether you are indeed the guest. You might be the host.
If you’re the host, you have certain responsibilities that come along with it. It’s your job to be in charge. It’s your job to engage with others. It’s your job to run the meeting, facilitate the party, or initiate the conversation. Whether people know it or not, they have expectations on you if you’re the host, and you’d do well to be prepared to meet those expectations.
It’s not the end all question because it must be processed through the same questions of general kindness, openness, and courtesy that all interactions should.
Still, it’s a helpful question in order to determine what you can best do in a given situation.