Fridays Are For One Question

Why did the astronaut go to the cafeteria?

Because it was launch time.

Get it?

Man, I hope so. It’s these jokes that abound in our house right now. You know the kind – mild chuckles from adults, endlessly entertaining for children. So let’s get the funny on today for one question Friday:

“What’s your favorite joke?”

Keep it clean, people.

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  • Jim says:

    What do you call a deer with no eyes?
    No eye-deer.

    What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
    Still no eye-deer.

  • Karen McGee says:

    How do you throw a party in outer space?
    You planet!

    What do you call a fish with no eyes?

    What do you call a cow that just had a baby?

    What do you call a fake noodle?
    An impasta!

    What kind of horse goes out after dusk?
    A nightmare!

    Why did the can crusher quit his job?
    He found it soda pressing!

    What city has the largest rodent population?

    What do you call an alligator in a vest?
    An investigator!

    What did one ocean say to the other?
    Nothing, they just waved!

    What did Tennessee?
    The same thing Arkansas!

    Why did the tomato blush?
    Because it saw the salad dressing!

    What did the fish say when he hit the concrete wall?

    Why do melons always have big weddings?
    Because they cantaloupe!

    What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
    Nacho cheese!

  • Doc B says:

    My all-time favorite groaner-

    A piece of rope walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender says, “We don’t serve ropes in here. You need to leave.”

    The rope goes outside and stops a passer-by and asks him to tie him into a knot. After tying the rope into a knot, he says, “Say, your ends are a little frayed. Want me to trim them for you?”

    “No, leave them alone,” the rope says.

    He goes back into the bar and sits down. The bartender says, “Aren’t you the same rope that was just in here?”

    “No, I’m afraid not,” said the rope.

    (No, I’m a frayed knot.)

  • Doc B says:

    Then there’s the pun-joke voted the all-time best:

    An organization of pun-lovers decided to get together and come up with the 10 best puns of all time. So they worked day and night for several days till they had their list of the 10 best puns.

    They then gathered an audience to find out if any of their best puns could generate a laugh.

    Unfortunately, no pun in 10 did.

  • Becky Dietz says:

    Said the number 0 to the number 8: “Nice belt.”

  • Jim g says:

    There’s a population problem in the world. They say a woman has a baby every 5 minutes. The solution is to find that woman and stop her.

    Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher that had no control over his pupils?
    He was so cross-eyed that when he cried the tears ran down his back.
    He went to the doctor and was diagnosed with a bad case of bacteria.

    Did you hear about the butcher who backed into his meat grinder and got a little behind in his work?

    Or the optometrist who fell into his lens grinder and made a real spectacle of himself.

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