Sorry for my lack of posting on Weekends Are For Kids. I think I haven’t posted because, well, weekends are for kids. Not posts. But I digress…
There are certain markers in all of our lives that you’ll remember forever. Your first kiss. The first time you walked into a room with your fly unzipped. The first time you drove a car.
Joshua had one of those this week: The first time a kid in your class throws up.
It was some kid named Walt. He apparently threw up.
Joshua, who is usually pretty pensive about his days at school, um, “vomited” up the details of this one. What color it was, where it happened, and how the mysterious Walt got to spend all day in the nurse’s room.
But after the story, the theories started. Obviously, Joshua and his buddies had been discussing the how’s and the why’s of puking all day.
Here’s the idea that rose to the top: Walt, in a furious rage of desire for green beans, had succumbed to his urges and stuffed his face full. In his great fervor, he had neglected to swallow said beans. Then, when he swallowed them, his stomach rebelled (which, according to Joshua, is what happens when you eat too many green beans). This accounted for the distance and velocity of the throw up, as well as the color.