Men, What Do You Bring to a Room?

I heard my pastor ask that question last year, and it affected me in a pretty dramatic way.

The lead up to the question was the recognition that as men, we have been designed to lead. It’s who we are; in our DNA, you might say. No matter how much we have tried to shirk that responsibility (and we have) through our Peter Pan syndromes, our abandonment of families, our inability to control ourselves sexually, and our refusal to sing in church, we are still leaders.

The scariest part, though, is that we are leaders even though we might not recognize it. It’s a bit like the NBA basketball player who claims that he’s not a role model for children. He is – it doesn’t matter if he wants to be or not.

Such is the case for every man.

And every man brings something into a room when they enter. The question is what.

Ask yourself, men: “Is the room more anxious after I walk in? Is it more frustrated? Is it more sarcastic? How is it different than it was before I entered?”

My hope is that the room is more peaceful and calm after I’ve walked into it. That people in that room, especially my wife and children, are more confident than they were before I walked in.

For me, the best time to ask this question is in that moment right before I turn the key off and open the back door after work. What am I going to bring into the room?

Will my home be snippy? Angry? Selfish? I can bring all that in with me after a long day.

Or I can bring something else.

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  • Brandon says:

    Good post, Michael. I, too, remember this question, but have forgotten it. A great reminder and something to always keep in front of me.

  • dip rippy says:

    I remember from days of yore… I am old… when someone told me that once you open that door back into the world of “home”, the first words you say and the expression on your face will set the tone for the whole evening. And (my advice to myself these days), if you feel like you just can’t -confess, repent, and claim the Holy Spirit’s promise of love, joy, peace etc.. Then walk in the door. Thanks MK for a good reminder!

  • Becky Dietz says:

    I loved when my dad came home from work. He usually worked 2 jobs, sometimes 3. He may have been tired, but he still let us climb all over him and laughed about something with us. I didn’t know it wasn’t like that in all homes at the time.

  • Jana says:

    Thanks for bringing peace into our home. It is such a joy for all of us to see your car pull in the drive.

  • Nanette says:

    This is great food for thought and I want to pass it along to my son, who at 15, is fast-approaching becoming a man (some days he’d tell you that he already is a man). As his mom, I get to observe him when he walks into a room and I see his friends welcome him and are so glad to see him. I want him to learn that his presence has a big effect on people, whether it’s in his school, at church or in his home (now and in the future). Thanks for this post!

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