Blaming it on the Economy

One of my New Year’s resolutions this year is to blame it on the economy. What is “it”, you ask? Glad you did.

That’s the beauty of the resolution. I’m going to follow everyone in the media right now and blame everything on the economy. It’s a perfect explanation in any situation. Some situations come to mind readily:

“Why aren’t my books selling thousands more copies? Well, it’s the economy.”

“No, I can’t have dinner to night at the Steakhouse. The economy and all…”

“Sorry, I can’t buy a Snuggie. You know how the economy is…”

“No, we can’t go to McDonald’s Joshua. Not in this economy.”

“Sorry, Jana, we’ll not be going to see The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 3. Haven’t you heard about the economy?”

“I don’t think I’m going to work on my PhD for a while. The economy prohibits it.”

But I believe the economy as an excuse can stretch far beyond those reaches. For example:

“I think I’m going to start hating the color purple. What with the economy and all.”

“Nope, can’t mow the grass this afternoon. Why? The economy!”

“I think I’ll have Captain Crunch and sausage for dinner due to the distressing news about the economy.”

“My soup is cold. Darn this economy!”

2009, here I come…

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