Today Joshua and Andi go to school, or at least their Mother’s Day Out Program that meets 2 days a week. It’s school for us.
I’m a little apprehensive. Last fall, just before Joshua’s year anniversary of his diagnosis with leukemia, we tried the school thing, and he ended up being in the hospital 5 times in September and October. Not too good. We pulled him out of his program to try again this year. And now the day is here.
I’ve got all sorts of things I’m nervous about:
– Kids are dirty. Love them, but they’re dirty. And Joshua doesn’t need alot of extra germs.
– Joshua is as developed mentally as any 4 year old could be, but he still lags a little in his physical development. Is he going to have a good experience when he can’t run as fast or climb as quickly as the other kids?
– Will his teachers be as understanding as I hope them to be about his situation? Will they treat him with care and respect that we hope for? I know in my heart they will, but it’s still a little unnerving.
So I am wondering this morning, in light of all these concerns I have, and knowing that every parent shares some of these concerns, how is this a reflection of God’s character? Believing that we have been created His image, surely some of these things must be a reflection of His heart.
It’s not the nervousness. Being nervous implies that you don’t know the outcome of the situation, and God does.
It’s not the feeling of powerlessness, because God is more than able in any arena of life.
Maybe the part that I have in common with my own Father today is how it feels to watch someone you care about embark on a new adventure. I’ll be there to support and love Joshua, but I am also sure he will encounter some difficult things.
Likewise, maybe when God looks down the road of our future, He knows the pain and hardship and difficulty we will encounter. He often doesn’t step in to alleviate the struggle, but allows us to work through it, knowing we will come out better on the other side. However, I think in those struggles He still cries and hurts with us. So maybe we have that in common today as we watch our son walking to school.
It’s humbling to consider how many times God has been in that position with me, and with my earthly dad, watching me enter something new and different.